From Boys to Men by Maggie Dent

Author:Maggie Dent
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia
Published: 2020-08-14T16:00:00+00:00

Loss of sporting or other dream

When a teen boy has his heart set on a dream – whether that be a sporting dream or an artistic dream – and that dream is crushed for whatever reason, it can have some seriously worrying consequences.

One young lad (16) I knew was a gifted athlete who was competing at a high level in athletics and was also doing exceptionally well in basketball. He experienced an injury that impacted his lower back. Initially the doctors thought it would only take a couple of months for him to recover. Sadly, the injury was permanent and he was no longer able to compete in either of his much-loved physical pursuits. Over a period of time, he began to withdraw from his friendship circle and because he had missed quite a bit of school, his grades had dropped as well. His family became really worried when he ended his long-term relationship with a lovely young lady, telling her that she ‘deserved someone better’. In a way, he was grieving for multiple losses without the tools and strategies with which to understand or process this grief. Fortunately, he agreed to see someone who was able to help him understand it, to plan a new map for his life and he has since recovered his confidence and is doing well academically and socially.

Sadly for the boys who refuse to speak to someone – whether that be a parent, a lighthouse or a professional – this hole of despair can become permanent. It is essentially a combination of a grief experience and an inability to fill their self-worth barometer with anything other than what they feel they are best at.

Significant loss of respect for men can become life-threatening.

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